It can feel so much harder to be compassionate to ourselves than to others. When we struggle in our parenting, we are often our own harshest critic – beating ourselves up for not meeting exacting standards. Here’s an invitation next time you mess up, to speak to yourself as you would to a dear friend who is struggling. This is an invitation to approach your imperfection with kindness & to see the opportunities for trying again.
There can never be too many times to remind you to act like a Moffle.
M – Make moments matter. Just pausing now & then for a few deep breaths & observing your thoughts, feelings & body can develop your self-awareness.
O – Offer yourself some kindness, as you would to a friend who is struggling. Self-compassion isn’t always easy, so notice this, too & take your time.
F – Focus on one step at a time, as you work at self-care. Set small, achievable goals. On the days even these goals are too hard, again, try to offer yourself kindness.
F – Forgive yourself when you mess up. Conflict is an inevitable part of family life. Focus on repair & show your child that you’re invested in reconnecting with them.
L – Look for the sparkling moments & celebrate small successes. Try to hold them in your heart. They can help to lighten the hard times.
E – Empathise with yourself, not only your child. Empathy grows when we’re curious about our thoughts & feelings, rather than rushing to judge ourselves.
S – Slow down. Whenever you can. We rarely need to respond immediately to anything. Go back to ‘M’ & make moments matter.