This story is a sweet exploration of the unconditional love of a parent, and also teaches that love involves helping a child to make amends when they get things wrong. Another gentle message in the story is that parents get things wrong, too – all parents get cross and shout sometimes, but this does not mean that they do not love their child, or that they are a bad parent.
The little girl thinks of situations in which she might mess up or do things she isn’t supposed to do, from crayoning on the carpet to pulling down the curtains, to pinching the baby. Her mother responds playfully & lets her know that if the situations were even worse than the little girl had imagined, she would continue to love her, no matter what. Even if her daughter had played so rough, she pulled down the Empire State Building, she would love her but also make her pick it up again! Eventually, the girl confesses that she has accidentally broken a precious vase, playing ball in the house. Her mother says she would still love her even if it wasn’t an accident, but she might also get cross & shout before being able to help her clear it up.
The story illustrates the ‘two handed approach’ that we aim for in therapeutic parenting – love and acceptance, alongside clear structure and boundaries. We think about how we can connect with our children through a PACE-ful approach (playfulness, acceptance, curiosity & empathy) helping them to feel understood, before we move to correct their behaviour & help them to learn from their mistakes. Both of these hands of parenting are important, but correction is always easier if we have connected first. But this isn’t easy to do all of the time!click here to read more