Staying calm for our child is a very big challenge sometimes. It requires good self-regulation – an awareness of our mind & body; our stressors; the signs we are becoming overstressed & knowing what we need to return to a balanced state.
In the face of competing work & family demands, cultivating calmness & wellbeing can seem like another task for our ‘to do’ list & one that we rarely feel justified in prioritising. Calmness in the face of the storm starts to feel like a superpower & out of the reach of mere mortals. Even more so if we notice that critical inner voice, telling us we ought to be able to do it more often, more quickly, or for longer. Shame becomes like kryptonite.
Reject the pressure to be a superhero & be more like a Moffle instead!
M – Make moments matter. Just pausing now & then for a few deep breaths & observing your thoughts, feelings & body can develop your self-awareness.
O – Offer yourself some kindness, as you would to a friend who is struggling. Self-compassion isn’t always easy, so notice this, too & take your time.
F – Focus on one step at a time, as you work at self-care. Set small, achievable goals. On the days even these goals are too hard, again, try to offer yourself kindness.
F – Forgive yourself when you mess up. Conflict is an inevitable part of family life. Focus on repair & show your child that you’re invested in reconnecting with them.
L – Look for the sparkling moments & celebrate small successes. Try to hold them in your heart. They can help to lighten the hard times.
E – Empathise with yourself, not only your child. Empathy grows when we’re curious about our thoughts & feelings, rather than rushing to judge ourselves.
S – Slow down. Whenever you can. We rarely need to respond immediately to anything. Go back to ‘M’ & make moments matter.